I spent a couple of years heavily digesting the popular rhetoric on attachment. It f*cked me up. Kept me in an abuse cycle and just obsessed about figuring out my partner.

This is what breathes well in me now, keeping me from idolizing “avoidant” partners and letting in the really cozy ones who can f*ck for more than one night. Because that’s what I’m looking for these days: consistent good f*ck and depth that is just rare.

Mainstream literature on attachment is just missing the mark. We need to be having a bigger conversation about the darkness of the psyche and be willing to call it out for what it is.

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12 page PDF