"I don't have to be perfect. I just gotta do my best."
This was my mantra today as I realized what my stuffy nose, drowsiness, and all around BLEH ness was mostly about: the hunger for some elusive attainment of PERFECTION and the reality that I will never be that, no matter how many hours, days, nanoseconds I try to make it happen.
I was trying to earn back SOMETHING, since I spent the last week off enjoying Hawaii with my mega babe of a husband.
I was OVERWORKING and my mind was going a million places at once because I felt GUILTY for being NOT PERFECT = TAKING A VACATION = BEING BALANCED.
Apparently somewhere in my brain I have this idea that perfection = working my ass off tirelessly = never needing a break = never taking a break!
That's a lot of equal signs and I HATE math.
What I'm realizing is that when you're REALLY good at something, others are relying on you for it, and you're relying on you for it, it's really hard to PUT IT DOWN.
If you're an amazing mother: it can be difficult to give yourself permission to turn off the mother switch at moments so you can simply focus on you and take care of your needs.
If you're an amazing writer: it can be difficult to just be in the moment without thinking you have to stop and write EVERYTHING down.
If you're really smart: it can be really difficult to look stupid sometimes and ask for help and admit that you don't know things so you can grow.
If you're really good at being good and kind: it can be really difficult to just say what you mean and get what you want without worrying about what everyone else is thinking and what everyone else wants.
If you're really good at being optimistic: it can be difficult to admit when things are just not okay.
If you're really good at feeling the heavy stuff: it can be difficult to let yourself enjoy your life for long periods of time (hi, that's me).
Today I shared with a brilliant one over Marco Polo my Pleasure Guilt and the fact that the heart of it is really a relentless drive for perfection: the need to constantly be doing and earning validation, trust, acceptance, and having a hard time just ENJOYING it all.
The minute I caught what was happening I decided that I would go to the gym and give myself the pleasure of exercise EVEN when I felt like I should be working non-stop since I was away a week.
What can you give yourself permission to do that you might be avoiding? Something that is really nurturing and kind to who you are and what you are creating in the world?
Hit me back and tell me what you will do that brings you PLEASURE and "shh's" that little voice that says you don't have time for it, you're not worth it, or any of that other baloney that goes on sometimes.
How are you letting yourself be HUMAN and just relax and enjoy for a minute?
Forward this email to a babe you KNOW deserves to give herself a break the way she lets others off the hook! You know, the one who will be there for you through ANYTHING and deserves to lean on your shoulder sometimes too.