Facebook and The Jealousy Monster

So everyone's life on Facebook looks so freaking amazing. 

Everyone's kitchen floors on Facebook are sparkling, houses are so well decorated, women have asses that are so round and high they can lean their head on them, men seem to really love their mates. Even when people post their unappealing moments, it's often in a way that just makes them seem really cool.

Hanging out too long and always dwelling on what other people are saying, doing, reading, or eating, can totally screw with your brain.

I don't care how confident, happy, healthy you are, when someone is continually talking about all of the amazing things that are going on in their life, eventually the green jealousy monster will be stirred. It's not because you are a bad person or because you don't like your life, it's just because we naturally want what we don't have.

It's inevitable.

We will go back to school and feel accomplished and then see how someone is a stay at home mom and feel momentarily guilty for not being home more.  We will be a stay at home mom and see how someone is going back to school and feel guilty for not learning more.  

Our brains naturally compare ourselves.

Here's the thing: when we stop trying to pretend that we're always happy for other people, we can get real and feed our hearts in a way that the jealousy monster never could.  Instead of spending hours scrolling and feeling less than, we can put that energy to making our lives more scrumptious with or without posting about it on Facebook.

How do we do that? How do we tame The Jealousy Monster and get our lives back? How do we let go of the world of the internet and not take it all too seriously?

Facebook like any other addiction needs to be put down in some capacity in order to lose its power over you. Like for a whole weekend, a whole day, a whole week, even a year. Whatever your body needs to not be so reliant on it.  Notice how much space and energy you have to talk to people around you when you're not as plugged into the Facebook world. 

If someone complains about your Facebook, comments about it, or does anything remotely hurtful through Facebook remember: this is not real life.  Practice letting it go which just means enjoying your life no matter who likes or doesn't like it. You don't have to defend in person or on-line ANYTHING you share on Facebook-- it's like explaining the clothes you wear or the food you eat. The reason behind it all is just because you want to and it's nobody's damn business what you do.

If you're feeling kinda lonely and singular even after spending time on Facebook, meet up with your friends in person and spend less time commenting and conversing with people over the internet.  You deserve to laugh your ass off with your friends and soak up all those juicy feel good vibes.  Dude this is really important because social media can actually make us MORE SOCIALLY AWKWARD and lonely. I'm not kidding: if we are already self-conscious, hanging out on social media can be crutch that we hobble around with for days. We aren't more connected we're just communicating more.

Having a deep connection with our family and friends is more important than having the "likes" of strangers we probably will never meet. Remember that, especially the next time your post gets zero "likes" and makes you feel like you're losing a popularity contest.

Facebook can feel like a popularity contest.  It is run by a lot of groups: Christians, witches, liberals, the religious, mothers, happy couples (not too many divorce ones posting pictures for some reason), conservatives, the politically savvy, people who like puppy videos. If you fall into any of those categories you will be golden but if you start your own category it could take more time for people to notice you, because you're making your own rules.  Good for you.  Stick to it and try your best to walk your path.

If you have my brand of crazy, you will notice your friends who ALWAYS like other peoples' posts, except YOURS. I cannot tell you how much time I have wasted feeling "hurt" over being "ignored" on Facebook. Really it's just a metaphor for life: we really are more upset about that person being absent from our lives, not our Facebook page. It's like creating fourth grade all over again. "So and so doesn't like me!!!!" The way to shake off this worrying is to focus on the people in your life who are actively participating in it and stop wanting people who are not meant for you, to give you the time of day. Definitely go out of your way to personally connect with your tribe so the lack of love from others doesn't ruffle your feathers. You have bigger fish to fry, my love!

How do you feel about Facebook? Are you happily together, broken up? Are you on it all the time or trying to get some space? I'd love to know! Does it make you feel good or make you feel worse? Love your voice on this!

To having a life that goes beyond Facebook!


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