In all of this holiday jazziness that looks like crazed bug eyed shoppers and anxiously checking our bank accounts hoping for a miracle...
Where is the Divine?
I don't spend much time on Instagram, but before I began my Instagram cleanse, someone asked me: "Who/What is the Divine force to which you pray? Is it a force? A person?"
And that question has stirred my heart and has slowed me down this Christmas season.
This beautiful desire: the wanting to be able to understand God and be able to grasp it in my hands, the way we do snow or our loved one's cheek.
And this is my attempt, with just a few weeks until Christmas, to share with you my Divine. My intention is that it might spark your own soothing cuddle with the Divine, even when you feel pressure to buy a lot and be busy and tired. For to hell with those things along with any notion of the Divine that does not soothe you and turn your soul fire right on.
The God to which I pray is the only energy there is: Yes the God in the Christ child being born in us every time we let ourselves feel, the God of putting vaseline on the lips of my dying grandmother, the God inside of my niece's giggle. The God of my crying and my mess and the God in the women who bear loving witness to all of it. The God of how much I miss my husband when he has a cold and the God of throwing caution to the wind and still holding him close. The God in forced conversations with people I barely know and the God in the delicious quiet after the holidays.
The God that does not care so much about what I call Her or how I love her, but just that I let Her love me. The God that I call "She" because she has spent way too many years with a masculineness used more as a weapon, a nothingness, the God of trans-gender without binary boxes of right or wrong, man or woman. I pray to the God that bleeds like me, weeps like me, and knows what it takes to live most days like they are my last. And when I say "pray" to God I mean make love to every moment, of course. But more on that heat another time.
To finding the divine in all of this, the birth, the death, the bliss,