Hi, I'm sexy.
Actually no I'm not.
I'm in my pajamas with messy hair and most likely drool on my face, as I haven't bothered to wash it yet. I'm also a day late in your inbox because I've been getting ready for our first virtual jam next week. Super stoked about that and not so stoked about the fact that I have to shave my armpits today.
First world women problems.
The problem is not how I look, but how I FEEL when I look like this:
When I roll out of bed and begin working without doing my meditation.
When I throw my hair back and pretend that it doesn't really matter that I look like crap because there are more important things to be doing, than my hair.
When is the last time you felt like the way I look? Or look like the way I look? The first day of your period? Last week? Or are you rocking the sweatpants and messy hair all the time these days?
Hey, no judging. I FEEL you.
We all have moments where we are just NOT rocking it. We MAYBE showered, threw something on, and now we're chewing some gum instead of taking the long painful 2 minutes to brush our teeth.
When we look like shit we inevitably feel like shit. And don't give me the esoteric bullshit:
"Hey I'm in tune to my soul, not my body. It doesn't matter what I wear or look like. It's only what's on the inside that counts."
That's what people who feel ugly and bloated say. I mean I should know!
For years I put my inner work before my outer, thinking that if I went to therapy, prayed, journaled, and read some books then I was SET. I thought that focusing on my body in any capacity was SELFISH and SHALLOW.
I stuffed food in my face like it was my job and didn't take care of my body in a serious manner, because my body just wasn't important.
I also saw women who made looking pretty their biggest passion in life and I just didn't want to fall into that trap.
When I faced my confirmation in the Catholic Church, I chose the name of a Saint in which I resonated with: Saint Rose. This Saint rubbed ash on her face to permanently disfigure her beauty so she wouldn't be so attractive, because her beauty brought "sin!"
This mentality can spread all over like wildfire, especially among the highly brilliant, religious, and badass hardworking folk: like stay at home moms, business owners, teachers, postwomen, doctors, lawyers, and beyond!
Whoever said that dressing in baggy clothes and being physically unhealthy meant that we were bright, hardworking, good, or spiritual?
It does not!
It often means that we're tired, pissed off, and feeling as sexy as a whale in heat.
How to rock your sexy:
1. It's getting in touch with your feminine energy by adorning your body with ANYTHING that feels good: a scarf, a necklace, hot red lipstick. Sexy black underware that is peaking out from under your shirt! Something that makes you smile when you catch yourself in the mirror and be all like, "Holy shit whose that babe staring back at me?!"
2. Take time most days getting dressed and doing your hair. Even when you don't feel like it. ESPECIALLY when you don't feel like it. I don't care if everyone and their dog have peed on your lawn. Get up the next morning and blow dry that gorgeous hair of yours. As a sign at local hairdresser states, "Gorgeous hair is the best revenge."
3. If you have to dress in a certain way for work, find a way to make your outfit and your body YOUR OWN. Wear your favorite perfume, put yummy moisturizer all over, wear dark eye liner. Let your body know that she BELONGS here and this is her world. That starts with feeling really delicious in her skin, in every occasion.
4. No more excuses of being busy. You are a hot milf and you no longer need to rock the mom jeans. Burn them along with your outrageous schedule. Take yourself out shopping JUST FOR YOU and pick out at least one thing that makes you go, "Dayyyuuuummmmnnnnnn."
5. If you can't muster up the word "damn" when you look in the mirror and your body is needing some TLC, by all means, give it to her! She wants to be fit, strong, beautiful, alluring, and she gets to be. Work with a healer (Oh why hello there!), read a book, learn about how to heal yourself so you don't have to use food or hide under fat to protect yourself from the beauty that you are. Do not, I repeat, do not simply change your diet or start a new work out routine. Your heart and soul need some TLC and once you feel good on the inside your outside will begin to reflect that powerful woman.
And remember, your body is your own. You get to rock it in a way that makes you feel damn strong, sexy, confident. If that means a t-shirt, do it. If that means a Madonna cone bra, go for it!
Vogue, vogue, vogue!!!
With great love for you and your sexiness,